04/21/13: You may have noticed this news section not getting much love lately, dudes. There’s a very good reason for that: it’s stupid and we hate it. Seriously, who reads news? Dumbasses? Idiots? All of the above? The truth is, any news worth knowing is put on Twitter by cool people anyway. And if news is longer than 140 characters, it’s not cool by default. Stay tuned for something much more kickass here.